Reading Notes: The Mothers by Brit Bennett (Chapters 1 - 7)

I thought it could be fun to start sharing my monthly reading experience of the book club book with you. The comments section is open for you to tell me how you’re finding the book.

CHAPTER 1
The titular mothers appear to be part of the local church community. I LOVE the way that they talk about secrets on pages 1-2: All good secrets have a taste before you tell them, and if we’d taken a moment to swish this one around our mouths, we might have noticed the sourness of an unripe secret, plucked too soon, stolen and passed around before its season. Sign me up for this tasting class! 

We are introduced to the main character, seventeen-year-old Nadia Turner, and in the same sentence we learn of her pregnancy and consequent abortion. Brit is not messing around here. The Mothers clearly think that Nadia is a wrong ‘un but it seems pretty clear to me that she is grieving the loss of her recently deceased mom, no? Don’t be so harsh in your judgment, Mothers.

Nadia and her dad are handling their grief VERY differently: Her father propped his sadness on a pew, but she put her sad in places no-one could see. Nadia often escapes to the Hanky Panky strip club, because it’s dark so she can hide her sadness. I hope that we get to see more of Cici. 

We learn how Luke (the pastor’s son) and Nadia met. He works at a local seafood restaurant, where nobody should eat apparently. Luke is 21, so he’s three years older than Nadia. He was on track to get a football scholarship to San Diego State, but a sporting accident messed up one of his legs, so he now has a mild limp and the scholarship is off the table. I feel a bit sorry for Luke here. Will this feeling last? Nadia is a smart girl and she is worried that her smartness will be off-putting to Luke. I want to tell Nadia that she should not be worried about this, but would she listen to me? Probably not. 

Nadia loses her virginity to Luke. Before you know it she is pregnant. Nadia gives herself such a hard time about it: She was supposed to understand that it only took one mistake and her future could be ripped away from her. Yes, I feel like there’s so much fear and shame for young girls in regards to pregnancy. It feels like the end of the world because that is the message that adults hammer into us. Especially if you don’t have family wealth behind you, or two parents, like Nadia. It is not an option to mess up.  

Nadia has to go through the abortion experience alone. insert broken heart emoji She worries a lot about how she will be perceived by everyone at the abortion clinic, from the (mostly white) nurses to the other young girls in the waiting room. The technician tells Nadia that she has a perfect sphere-shaped womb. What does this mean? Google did not tell me anything. Do I have a sphere-shaped womb? Do you?

When it was over, Luke never came for her. Nadia is surprised at this, the kind but “weary” black nurse who stays with her is not at all surprised at this. How could you Luke? I’m trying not to judge him right now but it just threw up some (bad) memories from my younger days. Part of the privilege of being a man is that have the choice to opt-out.

CHAPTER 2
People are always tender-hearted towards single fathers, especially single fathers raising girls…Nodded my head vigorously in agreement with this statement and then did a big sigh. Robert, Nadia’s father, has some obsession with his pick-up truck. He is grieving the loss of his wife - maybe I should go easier on him?

I can’t believe that Nadia has to deal with the psychological and physical aspects of having an abortion, while also making sure her dad doesn’t suspect anything is going on. I really feel for Nadia. 

We find out that Luke wanted to keep his relationship with Nadia secret: “secret” is the word that Nadia uses, but Luke prefers “private”. Why does Luke get to decide how this relationship plays out? 

Nadia tracks down Luke (a few hours after her abortion procedure) and where does she find him? At a party. And what does he say? Look, this shit was supposed to be fun, not all this f***ing drama. I got you the money. What else do you want from me? 

It seems like we are going to get a few clues per chapter about the death of Nadia’s mum, Elise. We already know it was suicide but will we find out how Elise gets to that place?

What a powerful end to chapter 2, this stand-off between Nadia and Robert with her literally keeping him at arm’s length. 

CHAPTER 3

The prayer circle at the beginning of this chapter is quite revealing in regards to community members and the personal demons they face. I think to myself (again) how phenomenal a writer Brit Bennett is and ask myself why I left it so long to read this book.

Nadia is described as “redbone” by one of The Mothers, and I didn’t know what it meant so I headed to Wikipedia.  

The Mothers show a lot of concern for Robert, poor Robert with his terrible wife and his wild daughter. Where is the concern for Nadia who has lost her mother? Where was the concern for Elise when she was alive?

Ok, this is a much longer chapter than the previous two, a lot more happens. 

Robert is/was in the Marines, so for the first four years of her life, Nadia basically just saw her mum and would not have been able to identify her dad in a crowd.

Pastor Sheppard (Luke’s dad) comes round to see Nadia’s dad - it turns out that he gives Nadia a job, without her agreeing to anything. Not so great on the consent front Pastor Sheppard and Nadia’s dad.

The job is assisting Latrice Sheppard, a.k.a. Luke’s mom, a.k.a. the first lady of the church. Latrice seems to be a complex woman. She doesn’t like Nadia because she once caught her kissing a boy behind the church when she was in seventh grade (12/13 years old). Don’t you know nice girls don’t do that?

Elise appears to have been a very good mother to Nadia. Her response to Nadia kissing a boy behind the church is less about shaming and more about delivering a life lesson: You just gotta be smart and you gotta be careful. Boys, they can go around careless their whole lives.”  But when Elise insinuates that falling pregnant at a young age has drastic consequences for girls, it forces Nadia to wonder if she ruined her own mother’s life as Elise was a very young mother herself. This made my heart hurt. I don’t think for one minute that Elise resented Nadia, she was simply trying to look out for her daughter.

The congregation is angry with Elise for dying by her own hand: I believe that most religions condemn suicide, as human life is considered as belonging to God. Does no-one seem bothered as to WHY Elise died the way she did?

Latrice Sheppard is the one who clears up any family mess. Upon learning that Nadia is pregnant, she implies that Nadia sleeps around so the baby isn’t necessarily Luke’s, which is not very women supporting women. Turns out that her husband, the pastor, offered Nadia that assistant job out of guilt but Latrice does not feel like she owes Nadia anything - quite the opposite. Latrice gave Luke the 600 dollars to pay for Nadia’s abortion. (Doesn’t abortion go against their religious beliefs?)

Stand-out quote (Nadia): Grief was not a line, carrying you infinitely further from loss. You never knew when you would be sling-shot backward into its grip.

CHAPTER 4

Elise’s death as felt by The Mothers: How could she choose to destroy herself so violently? How dare she opt for a hard death when the rest of us were trying to manage the hard lives we’d been given. It seems like The Mothers are working through feelings of resentment towards Elise, as well as anger. And perhaps guilt? It turns out that they were the last people to see Elise before her death.

Nadia: Like the readers, Nadia is still searching for clues as to why her mother did what she did. Maybe she’d never really known her mother at all. And if you couldn’t know the person whose body was your first home, then who could you ever know? Another example of Brit Bennett’s beautiful writing - but part of me questions whether Nadia is putting too much on her mother and herself here. Don’t we all keep parts of ourselves secret from the rest of the world? I don’t feel like we can ever truly know someone inside out. Or am I just shady?

Aubrey and Nadia: Really loving the start of this friendship. Turns out that Aubrey has a mother related trauma of her own, they are in fact estranged, and the reason why is pretty devastating. That’s why Aubrey lives with her sister, Monique, and her sister’s girlfriend, Kasey. Cue some insight into the church’s thoughts on lesbianism. Apparently, it’s something you can catch by playing football. *Awkward silence* Nadia didn’t speak about her mother because she wanted to preserve her, keep her for herself. Aubrey didn’t speak about her mother because she wanted to forget that she’d ever had one.

Aubrey: She seems to have a special aura that draws people to her. Or is this just Nadia’s impression of Aubrey, which we could attribute to teenage insecurities? Both girls had been abandoned but only Aubrey had been found. Only Aubrey had been chosen. It is heartbreaking that Aubrey’s mom chose Paul over her own daughter.

Latrice (Luke’s mom): Has some sort of second sight/intuition, which allows her to sense women who have been hit or abused. This explains her kindness towards Aubrey, as observed by Nadia in an earlier chapter. Latrice continues to be a complex character. She sees the world exactly as it is and understands her place as a woman in it, despite the frustrations that come with this realisation: …she learned that it was better to just be one thing, to distill yourself into something as simple as you could. And she tries to press her pearls of wisdom onto Aubrey - I’m thinking of the comment she makes to Aubrey about not putting so much sugar in her tea in front of other people, who would think her infantile or less than. Is she telling Aubrey to hide her weaknesses, knowing that others will take full advantage of them?

Natural disasters: I don’t know if there is any meaning whatsoever, but I noted how this chapter talks of the wildfires that are common to North California, as well as Elise’s hometown of Texas, where hurricanes and tornados are a frequent occurrence.

CHAPTER 5

Random thought: The Mothers make me think of the Greek chorus of maids in The Penelopiad (Margaret Atwood).

Abortion is Black Genocide - this is written on a sign held by an older Black man during a protest outside of the abortion clinic. Reminded me of the chapter in Women, Race and Class by Angela Davis, and why reproductive rights are very different for BIWOC, and how White Feminists have never taken this into consideration.

Nadia and Aubrey: They continue to get close. Nadia “moves into” Aubrey’s life. This means she is around Aubrey’s older sister, who is a nurse. There’s a particular conversation about abortion pills, how cheap they are and how dangerous they are, which made me angry. Who makes these pills? Who makes money out of female desperation while also putting lives at risk? Nadia still doesn’t share with Aubrey about Luke, the pregnancy, and her abortion.

Luke: He’s grappling with some confusion and guilt concerning his role, as well as that of his parents, in Nadia’s abortion: But his parents, who didn’t drink or swear… had helped Nadia to kill his baby. He had asked them to. I’m still questioning how Luke’s parents are anti-abortion yet were OK to make sure Nadia terminated her baby. It seems so at odds with their beliefs like they’re playing fast and loose with their religion.

CHAPTER 6

We left the world. We understand how The Mothers became so tied to Upper Room church, slowly retiring from the world that ignored or misused them. Yet another example of how good of a writer Brit Bennett is - she writes such complex characters, I empathize with everyone because life is complicated therefore people have to make tough decisions at various points or are made to fit within a certain mold.

Nadia: Despite her reservations at leaving Southern Carolina for Michigan in the previous chapter, Nadia is thriving. Or is she running away? Let’s go with thriving…she has a new boyfriend (Shadi) who appears to be smart and hot, and into Nadia. Ann Arbor is an incredibly white place for the both of them: She felt the sly type of racism here…In a way, subtle racism was worse because it made you feel crazy.

Luke: Luke is getting back into football but his parents do not approve. And with reason. The amateur football team, the Cobras, seems to be full of angry men who are resentful that they didn’t “make it” at professional football. Fincher, in particular, scares me based on this quote, which is in response to Luke sharing that he was almost a father once: I love my wife more than anything, but I’d kill her if she got rid of my baby. Yeah, Fincher definitely voted for Donald Trump. He’s racist, homophobic, and a misogynist for sure.

Luke is referring to Nadia’s boyfriend as some Arab motherf***er, which I am not here for, and he seems to be throwing himself a permanent pity party. He looks at Nadia’s (Facebook) life and believes that it …had gone on like nothing had happened, but Luke was stuck, wedged in the past. I don’t doubt for a second that Nadia is carrying her trauma around with her and feeling the load of it. But sure, Luke, you’re the only one suffering.

Luke gets a little too close to Fincher’s wife, Cherry. It ends badly, with 8 players from the Cobras coming for him and I feel terrible. I think back to what his mom said in chapter 3 - Black boys couldn’t afford to be reckless - and I already know that Fincher and his pals are not going to punished for the violence they commit towards Luke for NO EFFING REASON.

CHAPTER 7

Luke is in rehab as a result of the Cobras attack. He observes the casual racism that his rehab aide, Carlos, is on the receiving end of. Everyone assumes that Carlos is Mexican, ignorant to the fact that he has a Colombian mother and Nicaraguan father. Identity in relation to race.

Lots of insight regarding Luke’s idea of masculinity - it's definitely on the traditional side. Maybe Carlos was gay. Why else would a guy take a job where he had to lotion other guys? Ah, Luke feeds into the gays are sexual deviants narrative. 

Here for Carlos and the life lessons that he delivers to Luke: It’s okay to not be a big man. It’s enough to be a good man. 

Ah, Aubrey visits Luke in rehab with a present from The Mothers. So, Luke continues to be mothered by all the women of Oceanside. He considers Aubrey to be a good woman while comparing her with Nadia. He seems to think of Aubrey as a woman who completes him but I think he’s just trying to fill the hole that Nadia left in his heart, and I think this will end badly for Aubrey. 

More insights from Luke and his masculinity, which seems to be easily threatened. He doesn’t like visiting Aubrey at her sister’s house because …he felt awkward in a house full of women. It made him feel unmanly… 

Luke and Aubrey reveal their big traumas to each other.